1. Crazy Baby Wednesday: 7/23/14

    July 23, 2014 by Jennifer Carsen

    The princess and the pirate. Thanks, Papa!

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  2. My Weird Kids

    July 22, 2014 by Jennifer Carsen

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    Eric and I are blessed to have such wonderful, healthy kids – who, it must be said, are off-the-wall nuts. In the past 48 hours we have experienced all of the following:

    1. The little guy’s new favorite thing is not fire trucks, but fire hydrants. He greets them like old friends and always bids them a fond farewell as we walk away.

    2. I had to detain Lorelei in the bathroom yesterday and refuse to let her come out until she peed – it had been nearly a full 24 hours since she’d gone, though she kept protesting that she didn’t have to go. When the pee finally came, to quote her during an earlier bathroom session, it came out “Whoosh! Like a volcano.”

    3. Nicholas has started pressing my right breast like a doorbell whenever I pick him up. “Button? Button?” he asks. I don’t know what he’s expecting that button to do.

    4. Lorelei is now using the small 10-inch space between our washer and dryer as her “dressing room.” Unsurprisingly, given that Lorelei is bigger than many college freshmen, this doesn’t give her a lot of room to maneuver. There is much banging and contortionism.

    5. Nicholas has recently started clasping Eric’s cheeks and talking directly into his mouth, like he’s ordering a burger and fries from a plastic clown head at a drive-through. He does this, for reasons unknown, only to Eric.

    6. Lorelei decided to play restaurant with Eric the other night, the theme of which seemed to be “service with a scowl.” Eric’s meal consisted of a bunch of plastic grapes and comments including, “I said good day, sir!” and “You’ll eat it and you’ll like it.”

    7. Nicholas loves to retrieve Lorelei’s dolls from the toybox and forcibly remove their clothes. We can’t tell if this is a normal little boy thing to do or signs of real issues with women down the road.

    8. Lorelei met a little girl at the playground yesterday named Artemis, whom Lorelei insisted, over numerous protests, upon calling “Arsenal.” On the way home, Lorelei declared that she just thought “Arsenal” was a prettier name than “Artemis.”

    9. Lorelei also sat down on the swings yesterday next to a little boy and his genteel European mother, both of whom looked slightly alarmed when Lorelei started repeatedly shouting at the top of her lungs “BABY ON A SWING LA LA LA LA!’” They eventually came around to her odd charms, but it was touch and go for a while.

    10. We brought both kids to a minor-league baseball game on Sunday, and to keep Nicholas occupied I walked him around the stadium for a while. I eventually hoisted him atop a trash can so he could see what was going on. He immediately channeled his inner Elsa-on-a-balcony and broke into a chorus of Let It Go, complete with dramatic arm motions.

    Eric and are are living in a perpetual state of amusement – and a bit of apprehension – as to what tomorrow will bring. We also fully accept that our kids are nuts (via nature or nuture) because we are, too.


  3. Mommy Tries Featured on Classroom Comedy Site

    July 17, 2014 by Jennifer Carsen

    If you attended Gilford Elementary School back in the 1980s, or even if you didn’t, you may enjoy this short write-up of an interview I recently did with Dressler Parsons of Student-Tutor.com:

    You Can’t Fight City Hall

    (And Doug, wherever you are, I’m truly sorry – what kind of teacher encourages a 5th grader to impeach a classmate??)


  4. Crazy Baby Wednesday: 7/16/14

    July 16, 2014 by Jennifer Carsen

    Nicholas, Thomas, and the friend he calls “Let It Go.”

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  5. A Mother’s Ode to William Carlos Williams

    July 15, 2014 by Jennifer Carsen

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    I have eaten
    the chocolate-covered Oreos
    that were in
    the icebox

    and which
    I ostensibly
    bought
    for the children

    Forgive me
    they were delicious
    so sweet
    and so cold
    and you were at daycare


  6. Crazy Baby Wednesday: 7/9/14

    July 9, 2014 by Jennifer Carsen

    Nicholas and his Uncle Dan; photo credit Papa. Love these guys!

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  7. Guest Post: Parenting Haikus By Life Stage

    July 8, 2014 by Jennifer Carsen

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    Today’s guest post is courtesy of Samantha Rodman, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in private practice and a mom of three sweet/demonic kids under 4 1/2. Guess which job is harder? (Hint: not the one for which she is financially compensated.) Visit her blog, Thoughts on Psychology, Kids, and Reality TV, on Facebook, and on Twitter at DrPsychMom, and judge her parenting.

    Newborn

    Peeing while breastfeeding.
    Every new mom has done this
    It’s multi-tasking.

    Crawler

    Across the playground,
    See him eat mulch. Don’t judge me,
    Mom of just one kid.

    Toddler

    Are you friend or foe?
    Who knows what you will do next.
    I am terrified.

    Preschooler

    You can pump your legs!
    Swinging you no longer feels
    Like I’m Sisyphus.

    School-Aged

    Two years in advance,
    Already I am dreading
    The dioramas.

    Teenager

    If you can hide things
    As adeptly as I did
    I will not worry.

    College-Aged

    You better be smart.
    There is no way I can pay
    For all three of you.

    Adult Child

    I already know
    I’ll miss your childhood stages
    (except you, toddler).

    Grandchild

    I will babysit
    But will try not to intrude.
    So I like to think.

    Want to submit a guest post of your own to Mommy Tries? Click here for all the details.


  8. Crazy Baby Wednesday: 7/2/14

    July 2, 2014 by Jennifer Carsen

    Lorelei: Grill Master in training.

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  9. Review: NYDP Deli Patrol

    June 30, 2014 by Jennifer Carsen

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    I was excited when NYDP: Deli Patrol asked me to sample and review some of their cold cuts. I’m not generally a huge fan of deli meat, as it’s usually so salty and processed. Not that I’m particularly against either of those things in the right context, but it seems a shame to feel so bad about yourself after eating a turkey sandwich.

    The folks at NYDP – whose tagline, which I love, is “Food should be real” – have a goal of bringing real food to the deli. The company was founded by a New Yorker living in Boston who grew, as he puts it, “noshtastic” for the tasty deli treats of his youth. But he wanted to do it better.

    “While most deli meat is macerated, formed and cooked in a bag, yielding a perfectly shaped tube of ‘meat-stuff’,” the company states, mincing no words, “ours are single-muscle roasts, deep-marinated and hand-rubbed.” The new all-natural line at NYDP takes this even further, using only vegetarian-fed meat that’s raised without antibiotics or growth hormones.

    Yesterday morning, Lorelei and I headed over to the local Market Basket and picked up samples of the three NYDP meats they had at the deli counter (Lorelei also got a bonus slice of cheese from the deli lady, which tickled her no end):

    • Holiday roast turkey ($8.99/lb.)
    • Holiday roast beef ($9.99/lb.)
    • Natural apple glazed uncured ham ($8.99/lb.)

     

    The turkey and the roast beef were both very good – flavorful and much less salty and greasy-tasting than their standard deli counterparts.

    But the ham was truly exceptional. As with the turkey and roast beef, it was markedly less salty than regular deli ham, and you could actually taste the “apple” part of the apple glaze. It was tender and completely lacking that unpleasant rubbery quality you sometimes encounter with lesser deli ham.

    Eric, our resident deli meat expert, concluded that everything was so good that it warranted his eating two sandwiches for lunch instead of just one. I have to agree – there’s some seriously good stuff coming out of the NYDP kitchens.

    NYDP deli meats are on sale all this week for $8.99/lb., and available at the 70+ Market Basket stores in Massachusetts, Maine, and New Hampshire – with further distribution to come. Great picnics await.

    I received a Market Basket gift card so that we could buy and sample some of the NYDP deli meats; this post reflects my candid impressions. I have not received any compensation for writing this review and am not otherwise affiliated with the good people at NYDP: Deli Patrol.


  10. Where Is Daddy?

    June 29, 2014 by Jennifer Carsen

    Have you seen our Daddy? Where can he be? It’s time for a hug and a kiss!

    Thus begins one of the most beloved (and thoroughly beaten-up) kids’ books in our house:

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    In the story, the two kids and their intrepid canine comb through the house and its environs looking everywhere for Daddy, coming across various animal friends in the process.

    They run into pigs going to the market in the family car, a raccoon reading a newspaper, and a cow (somewhat incongruously, when you think about it) manning the grill outside. My guess is that Mommy fled the scene ages ago.

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    Finally, they track Daddy down in the bedroom. This is the pivotal moment in the story.

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    The headshot of “Daddy” comes in a little pocket with a pull tab that you can remove from the book. The idea is that you paste a photo of your own real-life Daddy on there, which we never quite got around to doing, but this minor detail has not slowed our kids down at all. “Daddy” has been hugged and kissed so thoroughly by our kids that he is pretty much entirely held together by packing tape at this point.

    I think Eric is a bit jealous, to tell you the truth; he bitterly refers to him as “Cute Daddy.” I must say, you’d never know what a looker Cute Daddy is, judging by the back of his head:

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    Cute Daddy looks infinitely more rested than pretty much any other parent of young kids I’ve ever seen – particularly one with two small children, a dog, and a full menagerie that includes a cow who fancies himself some kind of bovine Bobby Flay. More power to you, Cute Daddy.