1. People tend to forget that your primary job is to get them safely to their destination (Tulsa, adulthood, etc.) – not to keep them supplied with endless beverages, snacks, and entertainments.
2. You spend a great deal of time in close quarters with irritable, irrational people – particularly when the weather causes delays and cancellations.
3. Your job does not involve long stretches of time sitting around doing nothing (if it does, you’re probably doing it wrong).
4. Your job requires saying the same things over and over.
– “Please stow your tray tables in their upright and locked position.”
– “Aiden, the cat is not a footrest.”
5. You are required to do your job in a perpetual state of jet-lagged exhaustion.
6. Stepping away for a quiet moment to pee is surprisingly challenging sometimes.
7. Your job forbids you, on a regular basis, from saying what you truly think.
8. Your feet are sore at the end of the day no matter how great your shoes are.
9. There is a great deal of monotony and repetition in your day-to-day work, punctuated by unpredictable moments of sheer terror.
10. You find yourself answering a lot of questions that really don’t deserve a response.
– “No, sir, I cannot sell your 14-year-old a nip of Wild Turkey, even though we will all be on the plane for the next 12 hours so I know he won’t be operating a vehicle.”
– “No, Ella, even though Skittles are fruit-flavored and very colorful it is not the same thing as eating a bowl of fruit salad.”
11. Regardless of how frightened you may be, you always need to present a calm face – because all eyes are on you.
12. Patches of turbulence are inevitable.
13. No matter how bad things get, once you’ve started your journey, walking out is literally not an option.