‘Miscellaneous’ Category

  1. Google: Endlessly Entertaining

    February 16, 2012 by Jennifer Carsen

    Most bloggers (mommy and otherwise) will take a look every now and again at their stats to see exactly how people have arrived at their sites.

    In the past month, here are a few of the real-life phrases that people typed into their search engines that led them to Mommy Tries. Some of these people were disappointed, I’m sure.

    baby exlax (A perennial favorite. Lots of stopped-up babies out there.)

    what does the man with the yellow hat do for a living (It’s not just me who wonders!)

    chapstick tastes terrible (Indeed.)

    childbirth hairy (I have no idea exactly what on my site matched up with this particular search, but ick.)

    funny litter box (Is there any other kind?)

    how to stop goopy lasanga (Various mentions of Lorelei’s goopy eyes in her infant days may have factored into this one.)

    julie andrews as a baby (Blond and musical, I would think.)

    love thick cloth diapers (Who doesn’t?)

    preggo full (Me preggo full of goopy lasanga?)

    And, my personal favorite:

    she work lawyer “despite the crazy”

  2. Diagnosis Deflated

    July 3, 2011 by Jennifer Carsen

    I haven’t had great luck lately with things that inflate.

    Last Saturday, I discovered that I had a flat tire on my car – I didn’t “discover” it so much as have it pointed out to me by an observant bystander at the gas pump next to mine.

    I’ve had a somewhat checkered driving history over the years, hitting such notable items as the big yellow concrete pole in the McDonald’s drive-through, my husband’s car (about 20 years before he became my husband, back when we were two crazy high school kids), and – most memorably – the side of my own house when I was living in Chicago. But that’s a story for another time.

    In any event, I’ve cleaned up my act on wheels in the last several years, and I had no idea when – or how – I’d done such a number on my tire. And make no mistake: It was flat. Like, cartoony-melted-looking flat. Fortunately, the local garage was able to replace it without having to replace the other three as well (an unfortunate drawback of the otherwise very nifty all-wheel drive that comes standard on all Subarus).

    So that was last weekend. Today, for a change of pace, I spent four hours in the emergency room.

    Yesterday morning I woke up unable to draw a really deep breath – I understand now how those dogs on choke collars feel. I was also feeling a little winded every time I carted Lorelei up the stairs (she’s a big baby, but not that big). I figured I’d give it a day to settle out.

    This morning I woke up feeling much the same, but with a little chest pain thrown in. I didn’t want to become the subject of one of those Reader’s Digest real-life-told-you-so feature stories (New Hampshire mother Jennifer Carsen thought it was just her abnormally large one-year-old that was making her feel breathless and winded. It was a mistake that nearly cost her her life…), so I went to the emergency room. Lorelei remained home with Daddy; she was happily absorbed in Dora the Explorer, downing handfuls of Infeerios, when I headed out.

    At the ER, they hooked me up to a bunch of electrodes, ran some tests, took a chest X-ray, and expressed thinly veiled disbelief when I told them that, truly, I was not a closet cigarette smoker.

    The verdict? The upper lobe of my right lung is collapsed – apparently clogged with some sort of enormous, mucousy lung loogie.

    The doctor was nearly as surprised as I was. I guess a collapsed lung tends to be one of those things you see coming, following a bout with pneumonia or a kick in the chest from a mule (neither of which I’ve experienced, unless that mean mule slipped a roofie in my drink before puncturing my tire and kicking me in the chest, which would explain my recent difficulty establishing a chain of causation).

    It’s definitely one of those things that sounds worse than it is. I was sent home with a spirometer, which is a plastic contraption with measurements on it that you take deep draws of air from every few hours; it both measures your lung capacity and helps strengthen your breathing. It actually looks like a bong designed for the anal-retentive. Of course, all three of us tried it when I got home – I shudder to think of the early memories taking root in my daughter’s tender mind.

    I was also prescribed over-the-counter Mucinex. If you’ve never taken it, be warned: They are the largest pills I have ever seen, and they specifically tell you not to attempt to “crush, chew, or break” them.

    They also mention, helpfully, that “This product can be administered without regard for the timing of meals” – I think mainly due to the fact that one Mucinex is a de facto meal in itself. They should really be recommending appropriate sides instead.

  3. The Winner of the “Let’s Panic About Babies” Giveaway…

    May 14, 2011 by Jennifer Carsen

    Is Leeandra! Leeandra, please email me your mailing address (my email address is on the “About” page), and I’ll get your book right out to you.

    Thanks for entering, everyone! More reviews and giveaways to come.

  4. And the winner is…

    April 15, 2011 by Jennifer Carsen

    Jenny Martin is the winner of the Happiest Mom book giveaway! Jenny, email me your mailing address (my email address is on the “About” page), and I’ll get your book right out to you.

    Thanks for entering, everyone! More reviews and giveaways to come.

  5. New: Info for Bloggers!

    March 20, 2011 by Jennifer Carsen

    If you’re thinking about starting a mom blog of your own, check out the new “For Bloggers” section at top right on the home page.

  6. Mommy Tries Awarded “Stylish Blogger” Nod!

    January 31, 2011 by Jennifer Carsen

    The fabulous and funny Roni Shapira of Minivan or Clown Car? has nominated Mommy Tries for a “Stylish Blogger” award! Thanks, Roni – fun stuff.

    Rules of the award are as follows:

    1. Make this post and link back to the person who gave the award to me.

    2. Share 7 things about myself.

    3. Award (and notify) 5 great bloggers.

    #1: Done. Roni is a hoot – I first got to know her back when she was a blushing bride. Now, just a few years later, she’s a fearless mother of three (the newest two of whom are twins; they were known in utero as “Laverne & Shirley”).

    #2: Seven things about myself…let’s see:

    –1. I am embarrassingly fond of chicken (particularly roast chicken; I have been known to cadge the cast-off chicken skin from the more health-conscious diners at the table).

    –2. In fifth grade, I impeached our class president and took over his duties. It seemed like a good idea at the time – the plan was hatched by an insane teacher who held an inexplicable grudge against the incumbent – but his family moved away shortly afterwards (I hope for unrelated reasons) and I’m haunted by a persistent fear that I scarred this poor kid for life.

    –3. I was a lawyer for approximately eight minutes back in the late 1990s. It was, to put it mildly, a bad idea.

    –4. I’m always inordinately proud of myself after executing routine traffic courtesies (such as moving over to the left lane to let incoming traffic enter and dimming my brights for oncoming cars). I don’t know why this is, but I’m sharing this in the hopes that someone else suffers from this particular quirk and will now feel brave enough to come forward. You are not alone.

    –5. I’m a really terrible swimmer, about as bad as you can get short of sinking to the bottom of the pool like a boulder. I was by far the biggest “guppy” in the YMCA swim class (long after everyone else my age and size had progressed to “fish,” “flying fish,” and beyond; only a really ugly yet serviceable dog-paddle kept me from needing water wings).

    –6. I have something of a photographic memory where food is involved. I remember tiny details about meals I ate decades ago. This scares me quite a lot. I think there’s a lot more important stuff – such as key details about U.S. history and the current whereabouts of my car keys – that has been knocked out of my brain to make room for the recollection of the amazing goulash I ate in San Francisco when I was 5.

    –7. I love my daughter so incredibly much that sometimes I wonder how I could have been so stupid as to have opened my heart to this extent. It feels reckless, like the emotional equivalent of walking around a bad neighborhood at 3 a.m. with a fistful of hundred-dollar bills. Don’t get me wrong – I wouldn’t have it any other way – but I guess it’s one of those things that nobody can really prepare you for beforehand.

    #3: 5 great bloggers. So many to pick from! Here, in no particular order, are my choices – all fantastically funny and insightful moms:

    Amy at Pregnant Chicken

    Joslyn at Stark.Raving.Mad.Mommy

    Jill at Scary Mommy

    Denise at Confessions of a Mean Mommy

    Kate & Lydia at Rants from Mommyland

  7. Happily Ever After

    March 19, 2010 by Jennifer Carsen

    When your spouse runs off with one half of a couple you used to hang out with, you wind up with one new whole and two devastated halves. You know how my part of the story played out (happily recoupled, pregnant, and closing my sweater into silverware drawers on a regular basis).

    I’m pleased to report that Doris’s ex is also doing well – we touched base over email this week, and he’s just gotten engaged to a wonderful woman. It’s so nice when things work out for the best.

    He is still having some difficulty unloading his marital home, but given that he was able to successfully unload his marital Doris, he’s still coming out way ahead.

  8. Another Observation on the Olympics

    February 22, 2010 by Jennifer Carsen

    The guys on the U.S. curling team look exactly like Staples employees. Check it out.

  9. When Good Place Settings Happen To Bad People

    December 12, 2009 by Jennifer Carsen

    We have friends coming in from out of town tonight, and I’ve just finished baking a lasagna and a batch of cookies. We haven’t yet decided whether we’ll stay in or go out for dinner, but they’re coming a long ways and I know they might be tired – it’s nice to have a viable option for staying in if that’s what we decide to do.

    My friends Doris and Mike used to be so good at this – Mike would always have a fun new drink for us to try, as well as something delicious simmering away in the kitchen, and Doris was a great stage setter. Candles, soft pillows and throws, a skillfully selected playlist coming through the iPod speakers, and those little Martha Stewart touches like seasonally appropriate table greenery and pewter napkin rings that I’ve never quite been able to pull off in my own untucked-and-cat-hair-covered life (if there’s not a cat actually sitting on one of the dinner plates before the end of the meal I consider the evening a success).

    Our cozy evenings à quatre came to an abrupt end when Doris ran off with my first husband – which, as it turns out, was the most thoughtful thing she ever could have done for me (I know who got the raw end of that deal, and it’s not me and Mike).

    In any event, I’ve been thinking that it’s nice to be able to find little bits of inspiration from even the most unlikely people in our lives – even if, in hindsight, we should have told them precisely where they could stick that pewter napkin ring.