This Is Why People Hate Lawyers

March 16, 2012 by Jennifer Carsen

Below is a portion of the actual disclaimer found on Lorelei’s swim diapers:

CAUTION: Like most clothing, pants can burn. Keep children away from any source of flame…Do not expect swimpants to prevent the transmission of diseases.

I guess this means the end of my plan to send Lorelei through a raging kerosene-fueled inferno, followed by a refreshing dip in Lake Cholera, wearing only her Li’l Swimmies and a smile. Back to the drawing board.


  1. Nicky says:

    Well, shit. How am I going to make a living now? Hard to fence bets when all the babies I planned to pit against one another in a flame-throwing competition on the pristine waters of the Ganges River have parents who read all the fine print.

  2. Martha says:

    This is nothing’, honey. We got lots more reasons than this.

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